The Heart of Hospitality: An Invitation

The holidays have a way of bringing everything to the surface—our hopes, our joys, and, for many of us, our feelings of loneliness and disconnection. It’s the season when the world seems to hum with togetherness, but for those who don’t feel like they belong, that hum can sound more like a roar, amplifying everything you wish you had but don’t.

Usually, when I write, I aim to teach something foundational about creating spaces and designing lives filled with meaning. But today, I want to take a different approach. I want to tell you why any of this matters. Not just the design, the workshops, or the ideas I share—but the why behind it all.

If you’re like me, maybe you’ve spent time scrolling through Instagram or Pinterest, captivated by the beautiful, festive images—the perfectly styled mantels, tablescapes adorned with greenery and candles, or homes bathed in warm, twinkling light. Maybe you’ve thought, If my home could look like that, I’d finally feel it. Belonging. Connection. Joy.

I know that feeling because I’ve been there. I used to believe that if I could just find the right pillow, the perfect table runner, or the best way to style a vignette, I’d finally “arrive.” My home would become the kind of place where laughter echoed through the halls, friends gathered around the table, and life felt full.

But here’s a secret I’ve learned over the years: Those photos we see—the aspirational images that make everything seem effortless—are just one side of the story. On the other side is another person, just like you and me, trying their best to get it all right.

It’s become so clear to me, after years of visiting homes and hearing the stories behind them, that we’re all searching for something far deeper than the perfect paint color or a magazine-worthy centerpiece. We’re searching for belonging. For connection. For the kind of home that feels like a haven—a place that supports who we are and the life we want to live.

Behind every carefully chosen curtain is someone hoping their partner will notice. Behind every hours-long hunt for the perfect couch is someone longing for people to sit on it with them. And all those stunning outdoor kitchens? They’re waiting to host the kinds of parties where laughter doesn’t stop until well after the stars come out.

The truth is, a thoughtfully and intentionally created home isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating a foundation for a good life. It’s about making spaces that allow us to nurture relationships, foster community, and bring our best selves into the world.

When our homes truly reflect who we are, we’re happier. We feel more supported, more capable of showing up for others, and more able to build the connections that make life meaningful. And when we’re confident enough to welcome others into our spaces as they are—not perfectly styled but real—we give the gift of true hospitality. We turn strangers into friends.

This might sound lofty, especially if you’ve spent years trying to mimic those picture-perfect moments online. But what I’ve learned is that belonging isn’t something you buy, and it isn’t something you style. It’s something you build.

And that kind of work? It’s hard. It’s deeply personal. It doesn’t happen in a day, and it certainly doesn’t come from a thirty-second TikTok hack. It comes from asking the right questions: What do I want from my life? What do I value most? How can my home support those things?

These are the kinds of questions I’ve asked myself, and the answers have shaped how I approach my own home and life. I’ve stopped chasing trends and started focusing on what makes my space feel right for me. And the more I’ve leaned into this work, the easier it’s become to invite others in—to create an atmosphere of genuine connection and warmth, not because my home is flawless, but because it’s honest.

So, if you’re feeling a little lost this holiday season, if you’re scrolling through those photos and wondering why your home doesn’t feel like theirs, I want to offer you a new way of thinking. What makes you feel most at home during this time of year? Is it a certain tradition? A specific scent or sound? Is it curling up with a good book, hosting a potluck with friends, or taking a walk in the crisp winter air?

Maybe belonging this season isn’t about finding the perfect decor or hosting the perfect party. Maybe it’s about starting small—lighting a candle that makes you feel calm, hanging a wreath that makes you smile, or calling a friend just to say you’re thinking of them.

The holidays can be a tender time, but they’re also an invitation. An invitation to connect with yourself, with the people around you, and with the spaces you inhabit. Belonging isn’t just for the holidays; it’s the foundation of a life well-lived. And your home—the real one, not the imagined, Instagram-worthy one—has the potential to be the starting point for that life.

So, let’s stop chasing perfection. Let’s stop searching for the magic key. Let’s start building belonging, one intentional choice at a time. And maybe, just maybe, this season will feel a little more like home.