Quietly Not Quitting
It’s been a week. I received a group email from a friend with some words intended to be helpful and uplifting. One of the quotes has stuck with me for days. “Agency you don’t use is agency you lose.” That is an understated but powerful call to action and it has me thinking a lot about the things we have control over. After all, what is agency? Broadly defined, agency is a sense of control that you feel in your life, the capacity to influence your own thoughts and behaviors, and faith in your ability to handle a wide range of tasks and situations. It is the belief that you have the power and resources to fulfill your potential. And it is all these things independent of external circumstances.
Those external circumstances can be hard, though. Sometimes, it can feel like the easier option are the actions embodied by the quiet quitting movement. This phenomenon started during the later years of Covid and applies predominantly to the workplace but also extends to other areas of life. It is the idea that you limit the work you do to the minimum amount required, you disengage from your role over time and you put in no more time, effort or enthusiasm than absolutely necessary to do a job. Quiet quitting espouses a reduction in “citizenship behaviors” which I found an interesting parallel to this week’s hot topics. I looked into what behaviors constitute citizenship. They are defined as voluntary, positive actions individuals take to contribute to the well-being and success of a group. These behaviors include helping others, showing courtesy and respect, taking initiative, demonstrating civic virtues, exhibiting sportsmanship and acting with integrity and responsibility. They highlight words like assisting, volunteering, supporting, listening, improving, organizing, participating, contributing and accountability. These descriptive words sound very reminiscent of those that create belonging.
Since my life’s work centers on creating belonging and guiding others to build it in their own lives, I see agency as an essential tool in this work. Instead of quietly quitting, we could choose to engage more purposefully, using our agency in ways that bring our values to life and energize us in each experience.
What if we embraced a mindset of active engagement or purposeful commitment? By seeking ways to feel more connected and impactful in our daily roles, we could make intentional choices that empower both ourselves and those around us. Using agency as a proactive force allows us to create supportive, thriving environments wherever we go.
Using agency is like exercising a muscle—the more we use it, the stronger it becomes, allowing us to handle greater responsibilities, overcome challenges, and lead lives that are rich with purpose and connection. But when we don’t use it, that muscle can weaken. It’s easy to slip into passive patterns and lose sight of our own power. The key to maintaining and expanding agency is to make small, consistent choices that affirm our commitment, whether in relationships, growth, health, or personal goals. These behaviors help foster a positive, productive, and supportive environment wherever they’re practiced. Using our agency in relationships means we initiate, communicate openly, and address conflicts rather than ignoring them. Over time, this strengthens our ability to build and maintain deeper bonds, enhancing our capacity to love and be loved. Purposeful participation in community life builds our influence within that community. When we step up—volunteering, advocating, or helping a neighbor—we’re using our agency to shape the place we live in. If we don’t use this agency, we may feel disconnected from our community or powerless over changes we disagree with. By exercising it, we gain the confidence to influence our surroundings, support others, and feel a stronger sense of belonging. Choosing to learn and grow intellectually is an expression of our agency. When we actively seek knowledge, we sharpen our curiosity, perspective, and problem-solving skills. By continuing to learn, we empower ourselves with knowledge and insight, keeping our minds sharp and ready for life’s challenges.
In each of these areas, actively choosing to engage and apply our influence builds our capacity to act in even bigger ways over time. Using agency is like exercising a muscle—the more we use it, the stronger it becomes, allowing us to handle greater responsibilities, overcome challenges, and lead lives that are rich with purpose and connection. Also, agency is a renewable resource. Each moment we use it, we reclaim a bit more control over our lives, deepen our connections, and move closer to the life we want to live. Fully utilizing our agency is a way to create impact, craft belonging, and shape spaces that resonate with who we are.
