Traditions
Twenty-six years ago, my college friend and I accidentally started a tradition. It wasn’t planned or deeply meaningful at first—just a fun thing we happened to do one year during final exams for a little break. We spent an afternoon baking cookies together, getting to know each other better, and trying out the adult freedom of having a kitchen of our own. It was spontaneous and lighthearted, but the next year, we did it again. And the year after that. Somewhere along the way, it became intentional—a time we carved out just for us during the busy holiday season. Now, looking back, I see how that small, consistent act of connection has become one of the most grounding and joyful parts of my life. It’s a reminder that traditions don’t have to be elaborate or inherited; sometimes, the simplest rituals can grow into something extraordinary.
Traditions, whether grand or small, hold immense power. They create a rhythm in our lives, moments we can count on amidst the unpredictable flow of time. But what’s often overlooked is how these rituals—especially the small, everyday ones—can be the blueprint for belonging. They weave connection, foster rootedness, and help us feel at home in the world. Think of the way a tradition can transform a space: a cozy corner where you always drink tea with a loved one becomes more than just furniture—it becomes a symbol of your bond. Similarly, a weekly family game night turns an ordinary evening into a cherished anchor in the week, fostering not just fun but a sense of security and togetherness. These rituals remind us where we come from, who we are, and where we belong, grounding us even when life feels uncertain.
When most people think about traditions, they envision holidays or milestone events: annual family reunions, holiday dinners, or birthday celebrations. These are important, of course, but the quieter rituals deserve their moment in the spotlight, too. Everyday traditions—like a shared Sunday morning coffee, a walk at sunset, or the way you always play the same playlist while cooking dinner—may seem trivial at first glance. Yet these small moments, repeated over time, become the threads that hold us together.
The accidental tradition with my friend started as one of these small moments. Over the years, it has grown and shifted with our lives. In the beginning, we lived in the same town and saw each other often. But as the years passed and our lives changed, we continued to make the commitment to get together once a year and bake.. Sometimes, it was all we could do to make a few dozen. Other times, we got fancy or prolific. During Covid, we facetimed while baking our usual recipes apart but together. No matter the form it took, this tradition became a ritual we could count on to keep us connected no matter where we were or what was happening. And it’s taught me an important lesson: traditions aren’t just something you inherit; they’re something you can create—intentionally and meaningfully.
For many people, the idea of creating a tradition can feel intimidating, as if it requires a lot of time, effort, or planning. But traditions don’t have to be complicated. In fact, the simpler they are, the more likely they are to stick. A weekly call with a loved one, a Saturday pancake breakfast, or even a personal ritual like journaling at the start of each month can become a powerful touchstone over time.
What makes these rituals so impactful is their ability to create belonging. Belonging isn’t just about being part of a group; it’s about feeling rooted in your own life, your relationships, and your spaces. Think of a favorite memory tied to a tradition—perhaps the warmth of a family recipe passed down, the way your hometown smells during a certain season, or the ritual of settling into your favorite spot to read. Traditions anchor us, giving us moments to look forward to and a sense of continuity in a world that often feels chaotic.
The beauty of traditions is that they can be crafted to reflect who you are and what you value. If you’ve ever felt disconnected from inherited rituals or unsure how to begin creating your own, start small. Think about the things that bring you joy, comfort, or connection and find a way to repeat them. Over time, these repeated acts become more than habits; they become meaningful markers in the story of your life. For instance, a friend of mine started a tradition of writing a letter to her future self every New Year’s Day. It began as a personal experiment but has evolved into a cherished ritual that helps her reflect on the past year and set intentions for the next.
Looking back, I never could have imagined that a simple, unplanned moment with my college friend would turn into something we’d carry with us for over a quarter of a century. But that’s the magic of traditions: their power lies in their consistency, their ability to grow with us, and their role in helping us feel deeply connected to ourselves, each other, and the places we call home. And there’s no better time than the holiday season and the beginning of a new year to start a new tradition. This time of year, with its focus on togetherness and reflection, offers the perfect opportunity to create a ritual that brings comfort and connection to your life
So, what small ritual might you start today? It doesn’t have to be perfect. You just have to begin. Because sometimes, the most ordinary moments have the potential to become extraordinary traditions and to create belonging in the most beautiful ways.
